Road Trip

Bruce, Ash, Misty and Rocket landed the Benatar and crossed the countryside in the back of a truck. They passed a sign that read Welcome to New Asgard, please drive slowly. They stop in a small town on a harbor. Bruce and Rocket then got out of the back of the truck, look around at the remaining Asgardians, living like normal humans.

"Kind of a step down from the golden palaces, magic hammers and whatnot." Rocket commented aloud.

"Have a little compassion pal. First they lost Asgard, then half their people. They're probably just happy to have a home." Bruce reprimanded him.

"You four shouldn't have come." A familiar voice said from behind them.

"Valkyrie, great to see you angry girl." Bruce said with a smile on his face.

"I think I liked you better either of the other ways." Valkyrie replied, looking over Bruce in his new form.

"This is Rocket." Bruce said, introducing him.

"I would also like you to meet Ash and Misty." He added, gesturing to the two.

"Nice to meet you." They said at the same time.

Valkyrie narrowed her eyes at the group. She knew exactly what brought them here.

"He won't see you. We only see him once a month when he comes out for...supplies."

"You mean those?" Ash asked, pointing down to a pile of beer barrels on the ground.

"Yeah." Valkyrie nodded.

Rocket knocked on the door of the house Thor was staying in. He received no response and knocked again, but this time the door opened and the group entered.

"Ugh, what is that smell?" Ash and Misty asked, covering their noses.

"Did something die in here." Rocket added.

"Hello? Thor?" Bruce called.

"Are you here about the cable? The Cinemax went out two weeks ago and the sports are kinda fuzzy and whatnot." Thor said from another room.

Bruce could not believe Thor's appearance. Five years after Thanos' death, Thor has definitely put on more than a couple of pounds since everyone saw him last. However, Thor's new unhealthy lifestyle also cost him most of his strength, leaving him overweight and sufficiently weaker than he was before. Thor notices Bruce and Rocket standing there. He cracks into joy.

"Is that really Thor?" Ash whispered to Misty.

"Guys! Oh my god! It's so good to see you." Thor then started to hug Rocket.

"No, I'm good. I'm good. That's not necessary." Rocket mumbled, disengaging himself from the embrace.

"Hulk, you know my friends, Miek, Korg, right?" He pointed to the two who were sitting on a couch and playing a video game. The latter gave them courtesy greetings.

"Beer's on the bucket for those who drink it. Feel free to log into the Wi-Fi. No password, obviously." Korg then resumed his game of Fortnite before pointing to the screen.

"Thor, he's back. The kid on the TV called me a dickhead again."

"Noobmaster." Thor exclaimed.

"Yeah, Noobmaster69." He then walked over and took the headphones, before speaking into the mic.

"Noobmaster? Hey, it's Thor again. You know, the god of thunder. Listen, buddy. If you don't log off this game immediately, I'm gonna fly over to your house, come down to that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that's right, go cry to your father, you little weasel." He then handed the headphones back to Korg.

"Let me know if he bothers you again." Thor told his friend.

"Thank you very much, I will."

Ash and Misty were left stunned. This wasn't the Thor they saw on Titan II five years ago.

Thor then turned to Ash, Misty, Bruce and Rocket again.

"What are you drinking? We have beer, tequila, all sorts of things."

He then used Stormbreaker to open a beer bottle and started drinking. Bruce approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Buddy, you all right?" Bruce asked, concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why, don't I look all right?" Thor asked, still smiling.

"Not really." Ash and Misty replied at the same time.

"You look like melted ice cream." Rocket added.

"So what's up?" Thor asked, laughing.

"Long story short, we need your help." Ash began. "We have a opportunity to fix everything."

"What, like the cable?" Thor questioned with a burp. "Because that's been driving me bananas for weeks."

"No, not the cable." Misty corrected him.

"Like Thanos." Bruce said. Thor's expression then changed. His eyes clouded over slightly and a wave of rage came off of him.

"Uh oh." Ash and Misty muttered.

"Don't say that name." He uttered. His voice became strained and he clutched Bruce's shirt with one gloved hand while using the other to point at him.

"Yeah. We don't actually say that name in here." Korg commented.

"Please take your hand off me." Bruce calmly said, removing Thor's hand from his shirt. "Now, I know that guy might scare you."

Thor resumed laughing.

"W-why would...why w-why." He tripped over his words. "Why would I be scared of that guy. I'm the one who killed that guy, remember? Did anyone else kill that guy? Nope. I didn't think so. Korg, why don't you tell everyone who chopped Thanos' big head off."

"Stormbreaker?" This was more of a question than a statement.

"Now who's swinging Stormbreaker?" Thor asked.

"I get it. You're in a rough spot." Bruce said. "I've been there myself. And you wanna know who helped me through it?"

"I don't know. Natasha?" Thor scoffed.

"It was you. You helped me." Bruce said.

"Why did you ask then?" Thor walked toward the window and pointed his beer bottle off of it. "Those Asgardians down there; that's what my help is worth."

He sat down in the chair beside the window, shaking the shelf behind him on the way down.

"The ones that still remain, anyway." Thor finished.

"I think we can bring them back." Bruce said.

"Stop. Stop, okay? I know you think I'm wallowing in my own self-pity, waiting to be rescued and saved. But I'm fine, okay. We're fine, aren't we?" Thor shook his head, opening a package of M&M's.

"Yeah, we're all good here mate." Korg piped in.

"Whatever it is you're offering we don't care. Couldn't care less. Goodbye!" Thor exclaimed.

"We need you, pal." Bruce pressed on.

Thor shook his head once again and took another sip of beer.

"There's beer on the ship." Rocket added, arms crossed.

"What kind?" Thor asked, turning towards him.